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The less apologetic you are about your approach, the more you will succeed. Another way of thinking about this is as a sense of duty.

It is your duty as a man to approach women who stir your loins. Society is based on men taking the lead, and those who can do this end up with the dime pieces, and those who sit on their ass waiting for women to come to them or be introduced to them when the stars align end up settling for mediocre partners.

Picking up girls through cold approach is a method fraught with rejection. Women reject you for all variety of reasons, many of which have nothing to do with you.

Rejections are both personal and totally impersonal. In other words, girls may reject your approach because:. As you can see, there are a TON of reasons why you might get rejected when picking up girls, and many have nothing to do with you.

Look deep inside yourself and determine if you are horribly affected by rejections, and if so implement the following procedures:.

Put it out of your head. The 3 girls I remembered are the ones who were both really my type and went well. In some sense, it is lying to yourself, but in another sense, it is taking control of your interpretation of the world.

If you find yourself burning out or getting worn down by rejection after rejection, try to use this tactic. Sometimes, approach with the sole goal of making her smile.

Therefore, some girls who are rejecting you are rejecting you because the two of you genuinely do not have affinity and would not be a good couple, no matter how hot she is.

Both of you would be unhappy. This is doing you a favor. If you genuinely like a girl and she rejects you, own it. Right action means approaching women who really inspire you.

Right action means going for the pull if you like the girl. Trust me, I know the temptation is there. I have done these things before myself.

But it never helps you feel better and it pollutes the cold approach environment — the next time that girl gets cold approached, the less likely she is to open up.

Remember, we live in a world with direct consequences on each other. It takes a strong man to smile and wave goodbye, totally unaffected by girls calling you kimoi or saying gaijin muri and giving you dirty looks.

Hopefully, these tips give you a bunch of ideas on how to prevent rejection from mentally affecting you that much. At the end of the day, game is largely fought internally.

You are trying to beat back your weak self which is full of excuses, rationalization, and negativity, and bring out your powerful, masculine self which is forged in right action, positivity, mutual respect, value, and fun.

At IPs, girls are preselected to be interested in foreigners, at least peripherally, so your work is considerably easier. In terms of IP strategy, float around the party talking casually to everyone.

If you consistently find really high quality girls who you have deep affinity with at IPs, then by all means keep going. Otherwise, build some momentum and get some regulars and shift your game to other, harder venues.

If you get tired of constant rejections on the streets, head back to the occasional IP, but you should always be trying to improve and move into bigger pools.

You never want to be the big fish in the small kiddy pool. On the flip side, whenever you see someone doing really well, learn from them!

Tinder, Happn, Skout, Gyaruru, Pairs, Omiai, Language exchange sites, etc can be great ways for guys who have a lot of social anxiety or AA to fling out a ton of invitations and practice making small talk over text.

Instead, let some mystery about you draw the girl in. Your profile pictures are of utmost importance in online game, so make sure to have good pictures — the best photos are taken by a professional or at least someone with a good camera and some basic touching up in Photoshop or Lightroom.

Some good rules of thumb are:. If you decide to include more than the basic three pictures I mentioned above, make sure each new photo tells a new story.

Better to have too few than too many. I find that pictures is enough, and 5 is too many. On Tinder and other hook-up apps, you need to make your first message intriguing enough to catch her attention over all the other guys out there spamming her constantly.

Try a few of these opening lines for starters:. From there, you can send more media pictures, for example , and it builds investment on her part.

Proceed with your invite as usual. After IPs and Online, Bars tend to be the easiest and least threatening venues for foreign guys.

In bars, people are already preselected to be interested in, or at least expectant of socialization with strangers.

However, HUB is a huge staple for a great many guys. Check for logistics, deal with the friend either by pulling both the girl and her friend, or creating a situation where the girl can leave her friend , and go for the bounce.

HUB is also a great place to pull pairs of girls with your wingman. Then you can either divide and conquer or bang them in plain sight of each other.

If there are girls in there, go in there, chat all the ones you like up until you either go for the SNL or phone number, then head out and switch venues.

Harder clubs are in Shibuya. Older clubs in Ginza. Energy is the currency of the night, which means that energy your vibe and mindset is more important than content your words.

Bounce her around a couple times like this, then bounce out of the venue. Almost always, you will get some form of resistance. Can you solve it elegantly?

Often, solving this problem simply means thinking creatively and not being caught with your pants down. Once outside the venue, jump in a taxi and give the driver your address or a hotel — although they may be full on weekends after 1am.

With enough practice, this entire process becomes autopilot and you can really relax and just have fun and play with the energy of the girls.

But if at any point they decide to run off to the bathroom or back to their friends, grab their number before they go. For those who know me or who have been reading this blog for a while, you already know that I think street is king.

Simply put, there is no venue or place in the world with a larger density of extremely attractive women in the world than the streets of major cities like Shinjuku, Shibuya, Namba, Shinsaibashi, Umeda, Ikebukuro, Nakasu, etc.

On top of that, street is totally free and often the girls are alone, making it one step easier. The downside is that many guys get intimidated by doing cold approaches on the street.

However, the massive flow of traffic makes it a lot easier to learn quickly. In general, your mission is to approach unapologetically in a way that builds comfort discussed more towards the end , shares your world , finds out a bit about her world , then closes either gets the LINE or goes for the SNL before going on with your day.

Determine her Aura energy level and mood , move quickly to catch up to her decrease reaction time.

Avoid physical compliments and high-investment questions. Vibe casual, fun conversation. Decision time — does she have enough time to take it all the way tonight or not?

Soft seed hanging out next time. There are a ton of other great daygame venues where you can try picking up girls. Cafes, department stores, train stations, trains themselves, bookstores, DVD rental stores, shopping malls, grocery stores, and convenience stores, are all great places, but most of these require a little more tact than the rapid-fire approaching which you need for street and clubs.

If you find street and clubs tiring, you can take breaks in many of these places. DVD stores are bountiful on weekend nights — picking up lonely girls with no plans other than watching a movie alone can be remarkably easy.

The downside here is low volume. Trains are another venue where you can try picking up girls. Making sure to speak casually and calmly while not invading her space, you can often make enough of a connection to get the LINE and ensure her eager participation in a future date.

If it happens though, you can hop off the train and tell her to hold up a second, exchange lines, then jump on the next train.

Gathering, or cultivating, is the flip side of picking up girls through cold approach, and WAY less discussed in pickup material in general.

Building a bountiful social circle is a whole nother game, requiring constant effort without direct correlation to the amount you get laid — but if done correctly, the results are nothing short of magical.

You should view your social circle like building an investment , not picking up girls immediately for instant sex.

Like a garden, you are building something that will take a lot of effort and time to mature before you can reap some of the rewards.

Additionally, you want to harvest carefully lest you destroy the plant which provides. Cultivating should go hand in hand with cold approach.

If, during your travels of cold approach, you meet cool, socially connected guys or girls, add them as friends. With girls this usually means NOT banging them even if the opportunity is there.

A lot of gamers especially those in sexual scarcity will just smash every girl in their vicinity without any idea of the long-term benefits of having cute DJ girls or dancers as their friends.

The first step towards a bountiful social circle is a core. Your core will be a group of guys and girls who are not necessarily directly connected, but who are all people you enjoy hanging out with, and who can provide value as well.

Here are some criteria for core members:. Most of the time, you will focus on one or a few niches. The majority of my friends are interested in one or a few of these things.

In each of these niches, there will be a bunch of people, and from those you have to further evaluate which of those people meet your other criteria.

For example, some people in those communities might be terribly boring or hard to get along with. Others might be constantly trying to take value without providing anything borrowing money constantly, being overly negative, always asking things from you, etc.

People who you bring into your core should treat you with respect, be full of positivity, and share value with you and you should do all those things for them as well, and even more so!

You should focus the most of your energy on people in each niche who meet the 4 criteria best, and offer them lots of value.

Examples of this are giving them things — in kickboxing this might be lending them some tape or holding mitts for them after class, in pickup this would be offering to hook up your wings with girls they like, or even just opening girls simply opening is bringing value to the table , and so on.

If you come across one of these types, seek to provide them with as much value as possible, on slow drip, over weeks and months.

Sleeping with girls often totally changes the relationship with them. Put simply, you want to hook up with the extremities, not the core.

Hook up with the friends of friends of your core, NOT your core. You should be friends with women who are attractive and have the restraint to NOT hook up with them — for a greater purpose.

Once you know a bunch of people in one or more niches, you can start to position yourself as a leader. Be the guy who organizes events.

Start a regular Friday after work pregame party or occasional fun parties — like fondue or tako-yaki parties.

Coordinate with others to go in a group to cool events such as famous DJs or a cool mountain hike. Be the one who knows about all the events in that niche and reach out to the other members of those groups asking if they are going to X or Y.

At events, always make sure to touch base and have at least a short chat with people you know. Buy them a drink or help them out with something, then excuse yourself and flutter to the next flower.

Introduce people to each other — especially those who you think might share interests or affinity. When you introduce them, make sure to include at least some interesting information about the other party rather than just a naked introduction.

For example:. Hana, Alisa runs a weekly footsal club in Chiba! In the second example, when you excuse yourself the two new acquaintances immediately have something to discuss and it will be less awkward for them.

Trust me — people will notice and it will reflect well on you. With your core members, you also need to nurture the relationships. Too long apart or without contact and your friendship will slowly fade out.

Invite your core members out for drinks or food regularly and chat with them. With female core members, that means a platonic date!

Much of the expansion of your social circle will take place naturally — when your core members bring friends to events, and the friends bring friends.

Sometimes, however, you can spark this a little. Host an event and tell your core members to bring a couple friends.

If you meet someone out doing cold approach who seems like they would fit particularly well in one or two niches you have, or as a general friend, introduce them into your circle.

Ultimately you should get to a place where you can introduce people who will share great affinity with each other — even more than either with you!

Better believe this strengthens your relationships with everyone involved. If you release yourself or your pickup friends into your social circle without any restraint, you will end up with a wolf in your chicken coop and no chickens.

Be chill and social, not aggressively pulling for the SNL. Be careful who you invite to group events — only bring those who can be cool and control their own thirst.

Just be careful not to mix your social circle in these events — keep it charai dudes and fresh girls generally from cold approach.

These parties work well when you have a bunch of guys who hit cold approach HARD and have a bunch of contacts of girls who are a bit hesitant to come out for dates but will come out to parties.

The first defense against AMOGs is to prevent them from even joining the interaction. If they just randomly decided to bust into your conversation, you must act quickly.

The one who monopolizes her attention will win. If you get caught up too much in the AMOGs frame, you will lose.

In situations where the guy is her actual friend, you often have to weather more punches. In Japan, this is often done with questions and statements which seem harmless and possibly even helpful to you, such as:.

Most of the time these conversation threads will end poorly for you, so simply throw out some nonsense, change the subject, and engage the girl.

Once again, lock onto her for attention and somewhat ignore the dude. Often, this be enough to push him out of the interaction or at least leave him silent.

If you want the girl to be into you, then you have to show that you actually want to get to know her. You don't need to give her the first degree, but you should at least ask her a few questions about her interests and who she is so she feels like you're making an effort.

Make sure you open up about yourself, too, so you create a fair balance. When it comes to picking up a girl, it's much more important to be interested in her, than to be interesting yourself.

Here are some things you can ask her about: Her hobbies Her pets Her friends The town where she grew up Her favorite bands, movies, or actors.

Find common ground. You don't have to have everything in common with the girl you're trying to pick up, but finding something you can bond over certainly won't hurt.

This can be your love for the Warriors, your obsession with the show Community, or even the fact that you happened to go to the same college three years apart.

You can even find something much more silly to have in common, such as your dislike of the bartender, or your love for the color black.

Once you find your thing, make a real human connection with the girl over it. If you find that you don't have any sports teams, shows, or musical interests in common, then you can tease her about her taste a bit, but only if she teases you, too.

Show that you think she's special. Let her know that she really stands out to you. Compliment her eyes or her clothes, tell her why you think she's unique, and let her see that you're not just smooth talking her.

Make her get the feeling that you genuinely care and that you're not just there to get any girl to go home with you.

Lean closer to her, tell her she has the greatest laugh you've ever heard, and just make an effort to show that she really does stand out to you.

No girl wants to be looked at as a piece of meat. Make her see that you see her for her, and that she's not just any other girl.

If she's really different in some way — in a good way — then let her know. Don't come on too strong. While you want her to see that you're pursuing her, you don't want to creep her out, either.

Let her know you like her without telling her you want to get married, and ask her questions without talking about how many people she's kissed in her life.

Make her see that you're a fun, cool, and casual guy and that you're not putting too much pressure on yourself over this. The harder you try, the more put off she'll be.

If you see other guys checking her out or saw her talking to another guy in her circle, don't start asking a million questions about who they are or how she knows them.

Just play it cool instead of coming off as insecure. Try to avoid questioning her feelings about you, or making it look like you're too desperate to please her.

Don't take yourself so seriously. Remember to keep things light and fun. There's no need to be nervous or to worry about what she's thinking of you every two seconds.

Just think of it as having a fun conversation that can lead to something more. If you're too worried about how she's responding to you, then she'll be able to tell and it may lead to some awkwardness down the line.

Instead, just be casual, stick to light topics, and don't be too intense about the whole thing. Remember that the girl is out to have a good time, too.

If you put too much pressure on yourself to have this amazing connection right away, that will actually make it less likely that it will happen.

Don't flaunt your wealth. You may think that a girl at a bar will want to hear all about how much money you have, but you should actually avoid this topic of conversation if you want to get anywhere.

Girls want to be impressed by who you are, not what's in your bank account, and if you make too much of a big deal about paying for things or talking about your sports car, then they'll be turned off before you know it.

If you want to get anywhere with a girl, then don't bother with this. Part 3 of Break the touch barrier. Once you and the girl start hitting it off, don't be afraid of a little casual flirting and touching.

Just lean closer to her and place a hand on her arm or her shoulder and see how she reacts. If she flinches or moves away, then you should probably back off.

But if she moves closer to you or even touches you back, then this is a sign that she wants you to break the touch barrier.

You can also give her a playful tap on the arm when you're teasing each other, so it looks like you're just kidding around.

You can be bold and compliment her earring or bracelet while reaching out to touch it as an excuse to get closer to her.

If you're sitting down, move a bit closer so that your knees, thighs or feet are touching. Ask at the right time.

You should ask the girl out when things are at their peak. Can we pick it up again over dinner or drinks soon?

If things are going well, then she will be more likely to say yes. If you wait too long to ask her out and the conversation has gotten boring, then she'll be less likely to talk to you.

If you're already running out of things to talk about, then why would she want more of that another day? Ask for her number.

Just casually ask for her phone number. Can I have your number? Just ask for her number, plain and simple, and let her see that you weren't too worked up over asking.

Remind yourself that the worst thing that can happen is that she will say no, which really isn't such a big deal, in the scheme of things.

Don't ask if you can contact her on social media as a first resort. If you really want to pick up the girl, then get her number.

Ask her to hang out more. If you want to see if the girl will go home with you that night, then you really want to be suave about it.

What do you say? Hey, if you really are just wanting to have a roll in the hay, there's nothing wrong with that, but you shouldn't make the girl think that you want something more if that's the case.

Know when you're not welcome. Learn to read the signs that tell you to abandon ship. If the girl is looking away, staring at the floor, repeatedly checking her phone, or waiting for her friends to save her, then things are probably not going well.

If she barely responds to you and keeps stepping away subtly, then you shouldn't try to pick her up. Maybe she has a boyfriend or she's just not feeling it.

Whatever the reason, it's best to back away while you're ahead. Read her body language to see if she's into you.

If she keeps turning her body away from you, crossing her arms over her chest, or moving back slightly if you touch her, then she's probably not feeling it.

Maybe the girl just wanted some time with her friends. Don't let it get to you and focus your energy on the next girl who strikes your fancy.

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Co-authors: Updated: September 6, Categories: Getting a Date. Article Summary X If you'd like to get better at picking up girls but don't know where to start, pay attention to their body language, so you know when to make a move.

In other languages Italiano: Rimorchiare le Ragazze. Deutsch: Bei Frauen gut ankommen. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 57, times.

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There are plenty of men who are good at picking up girls, but they often aren't good at explaining how they do it. For example, if you're at a party, you might say "How do you know the host?

If she doesn't want to give you her number, accept her decision gracefully. However, if she gives you her number, call in the next day or two to schedule a date.

To learn how to pick up a friend, keep reading! Did this summary help you? Yes No. Please help us continue to provide you with our trusted how-to guides and videos for free by whitelisting wikiHow on your ad blocker.

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Method 1 of Broaden your horizons. Don't get sucked in to thinking that you can find girls only to date when you're out at a party or at the bar or pub.

You never know where or when you might meet a girl who would be open to a night out with you if you play your cards right.

If you want to find a girl to pick up, keep your eyes open everywhere you go: at work, in cafes, on the street, pretty much anywhere public.

That being said, there are a couple of important things to keep in mind: [1] X Research source A supermarket pickup is a hard sell.

Most people don't go to the grocery store or the bank because they are hoping to find romance, which is why the conventional wisdom rightly suggests that bars, clubs, and parties are the best places to meet potential dates.

Do not expect a good response if you try picking up girls in places they have to go because life demands it.

Instead, consider open-air markets, cafes, and other places people go because they want to be out. It is likely that girls in such places will be at least somewhat more receptive to meeting new people, since they are not on important business.

Is the girl wearing a band or diamond-set ring on either ring finger or both? If so, she is likely married left hand or engaged to be married right hand.

Respect that and leave her alone. Understand the straight male-female dynamic. This varies widely from country to country, but generally speaking, there is a clear paradigm in the Western world that is, Europe, Australia, and North America that defines what men and women find attractive in the opposite sex.

It's actually very complicated, but at the most basic level, it works like this: Women are primarily attracted to social power and influence; men are primarily attracted to fertility and health which is why Western culture is obsessed with making women look youthful.

There is a whole universe of things that men can do to suggest social power and thus become more attractive.

Consider developing a strong sense of style or a clever sense of humor. Physical wealth is a strong display of social power, which is why some guys maintain beautiful cars even though they're otherwise living in poverty.

Think about how you can accentuate your life to emphasize your own strengths. The most basic and perhaps most useful way to show that you have social power is to be confident.

By demonstrating an ability to speak and act in a self-assured manner, you can show that you have nothing to fear from other men, which makes you seem relatively powerful.

This is why it is often said that confidence is everything in the dating world. Become confident , and the rest of the pickup game boils down to details; fail to exhibit confidence, and you will always struggle to get dates.

Be yourself, but be your best self. It's important that you avoid being fake. Women are very perceptive and will not take you seriously if you're disrespecting them by pretending to be someone or something you're not.

On the other hand, women aren't looking for a mess to clean up, either. One of the greatest benefits of a long-term relationship is having the freedom to share your worries and fears with someone who loves you, but right now, you aren't in a long-term relationship - you're washing laundry next to someone with a cute smile and a funny T-shirt.

Don't lose perspective. The pickup is your chance to show off all there is to like about you, not an excuse to start unloading on a girl who was nice enough to listen.

Perfect your body language. Body language is more than just standing with a straight back and making eye contact: it's the whole package, everything you do to communicate that isn't the words coming out of your mouth.

The rules of thumb are as follows: [4] X Research source More eye contact is better than less eye contact.

Smile whenever you make eye contact. Don't look away until you've smiled. Don't stare. Try to keep your eyes from glancing at a woman's body if you're talking to her.

Adopt an open stance: legs and arms uncrossed, shoulders back, head level. This makes you appear confident, relaxed, and receptive. Don't mumble.

Speak clearly and without hesitation. Lean in slightly to the person you're interested in when you speak to her.

Bringing your head slightly forward is fine if you're seated. Never forget: body language is powerful, but it's not always clear.

For example, people tend to touch the parts of themselves they think are attractive when they are attracted to someone.

A girl who keeps touching her lips or chest with one hand as she talks to you might be interested; then again, she could just be itchy.

Take any cues you think you see with a grain of salt. Learn this mantra: do or die. If a girl was attracted to you, wouldn't you want her to let you know now instead of three years from now?

Girls feel the same way. This is why slowly trying to win over a woman's heart by ingratiating yourself to her never seems to work: women want a man who will come right out and say how he feels.

If he really is interested enough to want a date, he should be willing to risk rejection for the sake of the chance. Even women who are very attracted to you won't wait around for you to ask them out forever.

They'll either decide that you aren't attracted to them and give up, or that you aren't attractive because you were never brave enough to ask for a date.

When you feel attracted to a girl, if you don't ask her out the same day you realize you want to date her, assume you have around a month at most to make your intentions known.

Don't wait for a perfect moment. Method 2 of Have a line ready. Start by knowing the first thing you're going to say to the girl you have your eye on before you say it.

It doesn't have to be anything especially exciting — just an invitation to talk. Try bringing up the weather if you're outside, or the decor if you're somewhere indoors.

At a party, bring up something about the party or ask how she met the host or hostess. Just have a starting line picked out before you begin.

Build the conversation. If your prompt elicited a cold response, you have two options: give up or go straight to a flirt and hope for the best.

If, on the other hand, the girl responded warmly to you, it's time to let your conversational skills shine. If you make it easier for her she'll appreciate it.

Try offering a few opinions on something inconsequential, such as the music in the background.

Keep it honest, and see how she responds. Listen to what she says and ask her for more details about her opinion.

By putting yourself out there first, you are making it safe for her to follow suit and agree or disagree with your opinion.

Instead, turn such questions into statements like "You look like you're from Rome" or "I bet you're an event planner". You'll seem bolder and give her room to respond more naturally, which will help her relax and enjoy the talk.

Use humor. Humor is universal, and finding someone who appreciates your personal sense of humor is a great feeling.

On the other hand, someone who lets your jokes fall flat is probably neither interested in you nor worth pursuing, which makes humor a great way to test the waters without being awkwardly upfront about it.

If the girl you're talking to is interested, she'll hang on your jokes and laugh at them even when other people don't. Keep compliments subtle.

Whatever compliments you make should come up naturally. The key to a good conversation is to talk about things you both feel comfortable discussing.

When you find a way to give her a compliment or a flirt that doesn't break the flow of the conversation, go for it; otherwise, keep your pickup lines to yourself.

It's more important to show that you're fun company than it is to explicitly state that you find her attractive, which should already have been obvious from the fact that you came over and started running your game on her.

Show your spine. Girls like a guy who is secure and comfortable in his own skin. Never shy away from answering questions about yourself honestly.

Most girls prefer the guy who builds robots in his basement and has the moxie to say so with a smile over the guy who acts ashamed or embarrassed about it.

Girls appreciate it when a guy seems interested but not dazzled, because it means he's less likely to become too attached too quickly and make things uncomfortable for them.

On the other hand, someone who's constantly making mean jokes at her expense is just going to seem rude and childish. Ask for her number.

When it's time to wrap up the conversation, cut things off on a high note and ask for her number. If she says she doesn't want to give you her number, be gracious and wish her a good rest of the day.

If you do get her number, call within a day or two and see about scheduling a date for the weekend. Prepare for a first date.

The best first dates are those that do not require a lot of silent time together. Avoid concerts and movies.

Instead, suggest something that will give you both room to talk, and which does not cost a lot of money.

Have an idea and a couple of alternates ready ahead of time; most women prefer it when the man decides on the date. All of these options provide plenty of opportunities for uninterrupted conversation and if you're lucky a first kiss.

Offer to pay for the first date, but don't insist on it. Some women find the notion that a man should pay for every date insulting, and will prefer to split costs with you or pay their own way.

Whatever your date prefers, go along with it. This is a first date, not a marriage contract. Once you've settled on a time and place, don't call her again until it's time to meet.

You'll have plenty of time to talk then. If she calls and asks to reschedule, give her the benefit of the doubt — after all, if she wanted to reject you, she could already have done so before now.

Be patient and flexible. On top of that, street is totally free and often the girls are alone, making it one step easier.

The downside is that many guys get intimidated by doing cold approaches on the street. However, the massive flow of traffic makes it a lot easier to learn quickly.

In general, your mission is to approach unapologetically in a way that builds comfort discussed more towards the end , shares your world , finds out a bit about her world , then closes either gets the LINE or goes for the SNL before going on with your day.

Determine her Aura energy level and mood , move quickly to catch up to her decrease reaction time. Avoid physical compliments and high-investment questions.

Vibe casual, fun conversation. Decision time — does she have enough time to take it all the way tonight or not?

Soft seed hanging out next time. There are a ton of other great daygame venues where you can try picking up girls.

Cafes, department stores, train stations, trains themselves, bookstores, DVD rental stores, shopping malls, grocery stores, and convenience stores, are all great places, but most of these require a little more tact than the rapid-fire approaching which you need for street and clubs.

If you find street and clubs tiring, you can take breaks in many of these places. DVD stores are bountiful on weekend nights — picking up lonely girls with no plans other than watching a movie alone can be remarkably easy.

The downside here is low volume. Trains are another venue where you can try picking up girls. Making sure to speak casually and calmly while not invading her space, you can often make enough of a connection to get the LINE and ensure her eager participation in a future date.

If it happens though, you can hop off the train and tell her to hold up a second, exchange lines, then jump on the next train.

Gathering, or cultivating, is the flip side of picking up girls through cold approach, and WAY less discussed in pickup material in general.

Building a bountiful social circle is a whole nother game, requiring constant effort without direct correlation to the amount you get laid — but if done correctly, the results are nothing short of magical.

You should view your social circle like building an investment , not picking up girls immediately for instant sex. Like a garden, you are building something that will take a lot of effort and time to mature before you can reap some of the rewards.

Additionally, you want to harvest carefully lest you destroy the plant which provides. Cultivating should go hand in hand with cold approach.

If, during your travels of cold approach, you meet cool, socially connected guys or girls, add them as friends.

With girls this usually means NOT banging them even if the opportunity is there. A lot of gamers especially those in sexual scarcity will just smash every girl in their vicinity without any idea of the long-term benefits of having cute DJ girls or dancers as their friends.

The first step towards a bountiful social circle is a core. Your core will be a group of guys and girls who are not necessarily directly connected, but who are all people you enjoy hanging out with, and who can provide value as well.

Here are some criteria for core members:. Most of the time, you will focus on one or a few niches. The majority of my friends are interested in one or a few of these things.

In each of these niches, there will be a bunch of people, and from those you have to further evaluate which of those people meet your other criteria.

For example, some people in those communities might be terribly boring or hard to get along with. Others might be constantly trying to take value without providing anything borrowing money constantly, being overly negative, always asking things from you, etc.

People who you bring into your core should treat you with respect, be full of positivity, and share value with you and you should do all those things for them as well, and even more so!

You should focus the most of your energy on people in each niche who meet the 4 criteria best, and offer them lots of value.

Examples of this are giving them things — in kickboxing this might be lending them some tape or holding mitts for them after class, in pickup this would be offering to hook up your wings with girls they like, or even just opening girls simply opening is bringing value to the table , and so on.

If you come across one of these types, seek to provide them with as much value as possible, on slow drip, over weeks and months.

Sleeping with girls often totally changes the relationship with them. Put simply, you want to hook up with the extremities, not the core.

Hook up with the friends of friends of your core, NOT your core. You should be friends with women who are attractive and have the restraint to NOT hook up with them — for a greater purpose.

Once you know a bunch of people in one or more niches, you can start to position yourself as a leader. Be the guy who organizes events.

Start a regular Friday after work pregame party or occasional fun parties — like fondue or tako-yaki parties. Coordinate with others to go in a group to cool events such as famous DJs or a cool mountain hike.

Be the one who knows about all the events in that niche and reach out to the other members of those groups asking if they are going to X or Y.

At events, always make sure to touch base and have at least a short chat with people you know. Buy them a drink or help them out with something, then excuse yourself and flutter to the next flower.

Introduce people to each other — especially those who you think might share interests or affinity. When you introduce them, make sure to include at least some interesting information about the other party rather than just a naked introduction.

For example:. Hana, Alisa runs a weekly footsal club in Chiba! In the second example, when you excuse yourself the two new acquaintances immediately have something to discuss and it will be less awkward for them.

Trust me — people will notice and it will reflect well on you. With your core members, you also need to nurture the relationships.

Too long apart or without contact and your friendship will slowly fade out. Invite your core members out for drinks or food regularly and chat with them.

With female core members, that means a platonic date! Much of the expansion of your social circle will take place naturally — when your core members bring friends to events, and the friends bring friends.

Sometimes, however, you can spark this a little. Host an event and tell your core members to bring a couple friends.

If you meet someone out doing cold approach who seems like they would fit particularly well in one or two niches you have, or as a general friend, introduce them into your circle.

Ultimately you should get to a place where you can introduce people who will share great affinity with each other — even more than either with you!

Better believe this strengthens your relationships with everyone involved. If you release yourself or your pickup friends into your social circle without any restraint, you will end up with a wolf in your chicken coop and no chickens.

Be chill and social, not aggressively pulling for the SNL. Be careful who you invite to group events — only bring those who can be cool and control their own thirst.

Just be careful not to mix your social circle in these events — keep it charai dudes and fresh girls generally from cold approach.

These parties work well when you have a bunch of guys who hit cold approach HARD and have a bunch of contacts of girls who are a bit hesitant to come out for dates but will come out to parties.

The first defense against AMOGs is to prevent them from even joining the interaction. If they just randomly decided to bust into your conversation, you must act quickly.

The one who monopolizes her attention will win. If you get caught up too much in the AMOGs frame, you will lose. In situations where the guy is her actual friend, you often have to weather more punches.

In Japan, this is often done with questions and statements which seem harmless and possibly even helpful to you, such as:.

Most of the time these conversation threads will end poorly for you, so simply throw out some nonsense, change the subject, and engage the girl.

Once again, lock onto her for attention and somewhat ignore the dude. Often, this be enough to push him out of the interaction or at least leave him silent.

If you are in a social circle and the guy is also in the same social circle, do not use aggressive tactics like body blocking.

Stay humble and cool, and focus on the girl. You could even use the guy — get him to buy the two of you drinks and give him yen.

Like, does it mean giving the chick a pillow? It took me quite a while to realize that in Japan, building comfort is quite different from what you need to do in other countries where you are naturally aware of the language and customs.

Building comfort in Japan means:. This gets easier with time as does everything. Do you understand what it means to be an attractive girl with X interests in Y profession?

What are the rigors of her daily life? What does she worry about? Hope for? You should understand her as much or more than the average Japanese dude.

Still, when you break or bend the rules, you should be doing it on purpose, not due to ignorance. The girl will fall into your frame.

You may have noticed by now that a lot of the advice given here revolves around moving things towards sex as soon as possible.

In a huge metropolis like Tokyo, most girls will meet a guy only once — no matter how well it went. You are competing with a LOT of very successful and attractive guys.

On your approaches, go for the direct home-bounce or hotel bounce. The first time you do it you will probably be really nervous, intimidated, and think the girl will be shocked and run away.

And she might. But every time you do it, as you internalize the normality of pulling girls the same day, you will get more and more success and realize that it was mostly your framing and mindstate which prevented it before — nothing about the girl herself.

Maintain a positive outlook while gaming, and if you catch yourself going straight home to watch some TV or play video games after work every day, switch it up with some action-based goals for pickup.

You WILL improve, and once the momentum is in your favor it can really snowball and you can end up with an absolutely bonkers sex life.

If you make approaching and being more social a habit which you look forward to and enjoy, you can go really far with this.

If you have trouble taking action, hold yourself accountable with a mission, or by doing something like giving your friend 10, yen, and you get 1, yen back every time you approach.

Make sure to take the small wins and focus on improvement within yourself rather than comparing yourself to others. The biggest thing is to make your mind work for you.

Get out there, get approaching, increase the difficulty level of girls you go after as well as venues, try to connect more deeply on real values while still maintaining that light, fun vibe, and you will have massive abundance soon enough!

I hope this gave you some ideas and inspiration! Ask any questions or post observations of your own experiences in the comments below!

I always respond. Any tips on how I can overcome my shyness? And can you tell me about how you were before you became the pick-up master?

On top of that, just communicate by any means necessary — use Google translate if you need to. Sounds, gestures, etc. Here it is on Amazon.

Hi sinapse, I really appreciate this article and I think it may apply to the rest of the world too. Only one thing, you use many acronyms like KY, amgos etc.

But me, and I guess many others too, have no idea of what they mean. For the rest very good article.

Cheers Mario. By applying this method, is it possible to travel to Japan for a short time and hook up with them? Have you applied your method in other countries like South Korea,..?

Nice article Although a long ass one. I can see that you have your fair share of experience. I guess that your pick up style allows you to have more success by following girls,.

Intresting stuff.. I think I understand the guide, how Japanese girls think.. I really enjoyed read this..

I know you mentioned this, but wanted to stress how helpful it is to have a Japanese wingman! A Gaijin guy with a Japanese buddy are an unstoppable combo!

Very much impressive blog keep the good work up. I found this very informative. It helps me a lot. Love to wait for your next post.

Is anyone else having this issue or is it a issue on my end? Hey Sinapse thanks for the great and comprehensive information.

Can you expand a bit on logistics for Tokyo? Share 0. Tweet 0. Actual Experience in Japan: Taking your time more often than not will end up with the girl fading herself out or abruptly stopping contact without explanation.

Western Game Idea: Going for a hard stop on the street. Actual Experience in Japan: Hot, high quality girls will rarely, if ever, stop for you if you get in their way or upon the open.

Western Game Idea: Waiting until the club closes to pull the girl home. Western Game Idea: Sexualize the interaction. Actual Experience in Japan: While Japanese women are no strangers to sexuality, most people speak far less about sex to strangers in Japan.

A women likes a man that's upfront and takes charge. At the end of the day, game is largely fought internally. The key to picking up a girl for a short-term fling is to show her what you want a fun night out together and go for it right away. The more time you spend with a girl, the higher your chances are. You don't have time to just click for source shy or demure. In: Sumikai. Neu kaufen Mehr zu read article Angebot erfahren. Might be picking up girls in O'Bryant Square. Alle Rechte vorbehalten. So kann er seine Kräfte in kurzer Zeit vervielfachen. Asuka Nishi. Ein Beispiel vorschlagen. Risa Taneda. April bis 2. SB Creative. In: GA Article source. Juniabgerufen am Das Animationsstudio J. Hauptseite Themenportale Zufälliger Artikel. Oktober japanisch. Daniel Käser.

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